The Art of Loving
"All this kind of relationship amounts to is the well-oiled relationship between two persons who remain strangers all their lives, who never arrive at a "central relationship," but who treat each other with courtesy and who attempt to make each other feel better."
-Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
Boy, did I get a lesson in love this summer. Make it more of a crash course! So many moments this relationship served me that I'm grateful for. But most of all was this book recommendation waiting for me at the end.
I swear this book needs to be part of the school system curriculum. Understanding that love is a practice, not a feeling that only a lucky few get to experience but like any art form, in order to excel discipline, concentration, patience and faith are required.
I learned so much about myself through this relationship. One thing in particular as Erich Fromm refers to as: 'mature love' the "I need you because I love you." A great leap from my old paradigm of "I love you because I need you". I have great deal of anticipation knowing how magically rewarding this kind of love is.
I learned about how independent and self-sufficient I am. Far beyond anything I've ever given myself credit for! I also grew a deeper understanding of my judgment on equality and gender roles, not saying I changed my mind... but I have a new perspective on it.
I also had to come to the realization that besides feeling secure and loved, one must be able to tolerate insecurity and the importance of loving someone in the way they need to be loved. Similarly, the desire to be loved in the way I want to be loved.
When the faith of knowing that a relationship no longer serves you is so strong you just gotta get off the merry-go-round... both equally puke inducing but also the best time to eat funnel cake.
Where does love go when it's over? Cuz it doesn't ever really go away (#cording), I will always have concern for the life and growth of those who I have loved.